Flying the friendly skies

I recently traveled to Houston, Texas, which was interesting ... Jk, I had a fun time. The nightlife was not my cup of tea but hey. Having just gone through TSA, I thought you might enjoy some of my personal tips on how to make your journey through airport security conflict-free and speedy.

1. Don't fly anywhere.
Seriously.  If you can avoid flying, I suggest you don't bother with it.

2. CHECK YOUR LUGGAGE!!
I can't stress this enough. If you're traveling domestically, you may have to pay to check your luggage, but it'll be worth it if you don't want to deal with the threat of being strip searched or having to explain for the third time that, no, your hemorrhoid cream is in fact NOT an explosive.

3. Follow directions to the letter!
If the limit is 3.4 oz, they mean it. Don't try to skirt around it. You might end up without your expensive cosmetics. The exception is medication, either prescription or over the counter. These you can have, but I suggest that you put them all in the same compartment so they're easy for you and the TSA agent to find. Also, don't be surprised if they ask you for a sample. You will probably, in one way or another, have to explain what your meds are (especially if they're generic or don't have the script stuck on them).

4. Show up naked.
Okay, ideally speaking, this would be the best option. However, indecent exposure is real and you will probably get arrested. Your next best bet is to not wear jewelry or belts, and to wear shoes that are easy to get on and off.

5.  Be polite and friendly towards your fellow passengers and the TSA agents!!

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